35 weeks

I could not sleep!!!My head is full of things...like...I wanna make myself a diaper bag,I wanna finish the blanket before she born,I'm nervous about giving birth,I'm worried I won't be able to take good care of her,I'm worried about our relationship,I'm worried we're not going to be a good parents...etc...

 even do we have enough baby clothes?enough space?enough baby socks?enough baby pajamas?enough this?enough that?enough LOVE?

 When are we going to buy diapers?

Am I using the sling in a right way?

How many cloth diaper should I get?

Is this safe?Is that safe?

What if she doesn't wanna breast feed?What if I be too lazy to wash the cloth diapers?What if I be too lazy to wash her clothes?What if it happens in daytime when I'm alone?What if Ryan and I forget the camera?What if we couldn't take the helicopter?What if there 're really zombies in this world? What if some crazy gas man comes like the film Funny Game?What if somebody wanna hurt my loves?What if I can't protect her?What if I lose my family?What if Ryan just passes the fuck out again and never wake up?

I wanna see her face,I wanna see her smiles,I wanna see her cries,I wanna see her crawls,walks,sleeps,eats,plays,being silly,jumping around,goes to school,swims,taking a nap with her dad...and hear her laughs,cries,screams,and making funny sounds while shes sleeping...

Please let me stay with them for my whole life...

I love them so much...